Life & Me

I’ll be free soon

While in my previous school, exam was a pretty swift event.8 papers in 2 to 3 weeks and I am done. Now, as I’ve complained last semester, it is a marathon. It gets a little worse this time around, it is stretched throughout 3 months.

And it started last Wednesday, and I wonder how I would fare this time.

After this semester, I would have completed all the required modules, 6 months faster than planned. Perhaps I grew a little impatient after all these studying. So I would be free, as I claimed at the end of every semester.

I don’t find that sort of thinking bad. It’s called optimism. And I have much of it. It’s irrational alright, but an useful and productive one at that.

Anyway, anticipating that I will be free next semester, I managed to got myself another job, to conduct a small research at the university, a pretty good job actually.

So well, I’d be free after all, so its okay. And after that, I’ll go on to write my thesis.

I’m almost free. So call me out for coffee anytime, seriously. Optimism is good.

Surnames

While Chinese surnames are generally without meaning (though with long history), many German surnames are linked to occupation – painter, farmer, log tender and so on… once in a while, you come across a funny surname – for example “f***er’. I’m serious, one of them was even a famous physicist and gave us the Fick’s law…

In the English word, its not obvious that but many surnames are still occupations or characteristic, albeit in another language, like Kaufmann, which means business man.

However, hilariously, I just came across a superb surname. So absurd that I think it might be made up. Well, there’s a Chris Moneymaker, who won the world series of poker in 2003.

No joke.

Just some updates

Just a few days ago, Steph has come from being hired by the smallest chemical company in the world, to being hired by the largest chemical company in the world! It’s amazing how God sometimes works. But maybe we don’t have to know how. It’s sufficient to know that he is in control.

Some quotes

I was listening to a Spanish podcast today,

Woman: Who’s that?
Man: The new guy.
Woman: He’s hot! (buenisimo!)
Man: But you have a boyfriend.
Woman: I have eyes too.

It’s interesting that this is pretty common in the Spanish/Latin America culture, perhaps conforming the stereotype that they are like “expressing their feelings”.

“I’m married, but not blind.” and “I’m going through a diet, but doesn’t mean I can’t look at the menu.” are two more examples.

On a side note, I heard another quote today about happiness.

“Happiness is not having what you want, but wanting what you have.”

Food for thoughts.

Third world

I remembered the publication of Lee Kuan Yew’s book ‘from the third world to the first’ that described Singapore’s rise to richness. It caused an argument in my family, which is really not uncommon. But I always remember argument where the other party doesn’t agree with my stand but can’t give a reasonable reason for it. For this, sometimes I’m labelled as ‘always wanting to win’.

Throughout the years, I’ve learnt to tone myself down, learning when to stop when it becomes obvious when the other person/party refuse to listen or accept. But then again, I still want to be right, everytime .

In this case, it was my father and brother. I said a country cannot move from the first world to the third. It has already been defined. They retorted that how can the president of Singapore be wrong, which is really not am argument at all. But as many arguments, sometimes you don’t need to be right to win in my family. You just need to shout the loudest or hold the racket in your hand.

Anyway, I never accepted it. Singapore can be a rich world, but not the first world. And finally, last week in economist, the definition was stated. First world was the capitalist west while the second world was the communist east. The rest was the third world. There you have it! I was right! ( laughing to myself… hahaha…)

Of course the third world was seen as poor and undeveloped and Singapore was no longer so. And since the fall of soviet, the second world was no longer relevant. That’s the why you no longer see the phrase ‘third world’ being used, its now ‘developing nation’ or ‘less developed countries’ and Singapore does not belonged to that category.

Was Mr. Lee wrong then? Of course not. Who would want to buy a book titled ‘how Singapore became rich’?

But the point is – I was right! And the fact that I need a blog post to clarify this after 7-8 years probably also means I need some treatment and counseling.

*woohoo! Celebrating….

Quiet airport

You need air conditioning in airport. That much is clear and obvious. You need that everywhere in Malaysia.

But do you know, that even in cold winters, airports still need air conditioning? That’s due to the large amount of people, and everyone of them is equivalent to a 100W heater. To imagine the heat, imagine touching a 100W light bulb. You don’t burn yourself touching a human is due to the large surface area.

Alright, science and fact aside, I’m sitting in a very quiet airport now, as my flight is one of the. only 3 flights tonight.

The atmosphere is surprisingly peaceful. No busy footsteps, no baby cry, no sound is chatter. I could even hear the steady hum of the air conditioning.

And I kinda enjoy this.

Goodbye to Malaysia, see you in hopefully 6 months.

I smile

It was a rushed week. Had to go through what I usually take 4 weeks to do. But it was a good week. A good cup of coffee is still good (maybe better) even if it?s compressed into an espresso.

While I was travelling back in a train from KL to Ipoh, I saw the daily lives of different types of people. Mothers taking care of their children, students travelling back to the universities, some sleeping and snoring while the train rocks from side to side. None of these is out of the ordinary, but the combination and the familiarity of it just somehow blends together. Like a good piece of chocolate in a coffee to make it mocha. Just before I reached Ipoh, I looked out towards a newly developed housing area, and a cow was walking in the middle of the street.

I smiled.

That night, I went to a dinner with my dad, with some pretty well-off people. When they came in, I found myself wondering what I should do. Should I stand up? Should I shake their hands or just say ?Uncle?? What was once natural didn?t seem so natural anymore. Throughout the dinner, I was bombarded with questions about Germany, even though I?ve told the exact same people the same thing about 8 months ago. But as usual, I just switched to ?answering questions? mode and I did fine. Then everyone moved on to boast about the different experiences they have and so on, ??. The loudness of it, the commotion of it, the familiarity of it, it?s like the white coffee that I miss.

I smiled.

Before I had the chance to get to know Ipoh again, we rushed to Singapore. We had a nice bungalow to stay in. But even though we had lots of room, the bed of our parents remains our (me and my sis) preferred hang out place. We talked with a volume that rivals the whale-cry, the speed that rivals the Boeings and all the usual scolding and sarcasm. It?s like that bean that I return to after trying out all the different beans in the world. The first bean has a special place in my heart.

I smiled.

The next few days were a rush. We hosted the parents of my (now) sister-in-law (Side note: it?s hard to imagine that I have another sister now, considering that I?ve met her only four days ago. Sweet and nice, my brother is lucky.) I never really thought about much, didn?t have time to.

Until Saturday morning, many things happen almost simultaneously. My brother was getting married. Though never really close, I?m really happy for him. I?ll be leaving my family for another 6 months, at the least. We had a great time, like the espresso I mentioned earlier. We chatted daily till 1 to 2am, and our eyes are the testaments. I?ll be going back and have to adapt straight back into the life I left behind, it?s the middle of my semester. And finally, I?d be seeing my sweetheart again. One week is a long long time, and I have loads to tell her.

In the midst of it all, I could not identified or differentiate my feelings. It?s like if you poke two needles a few centimeters apart on your body parts. On some parts, like the tongue, you can feel both needles. In other parts, like the feet, you can?t. My emotions are like my feet, I can?t differentiate them.

So I chose to park them aside and deal with them later. You can, perhaps through the needles mark, sort them out later. In the dinner just an hour ago, I didn?t say much and did maths by calculating the bill with my head instead. As I couldn?t concentrate, I probably did not do well, and the fact that the 7% Government tax includes the 10% service charge of the total meal didn’t help. I did not say my goodbyes well, because any longer and tears would flow.

But Steph taught me (and Grey?s Anatomy as well) that you don?t have to always feel good. You can feel sad as well. It?s the whole package, like you don?t have to drink black coffee always. The varieties make it good.

And looking back in the week, I had a great great time. Lots of catching up, like asking my friends about their meaning of life (I hope they did not get irritated), lots of food, (and my sis had a great time making fun of my tummy), lots of love, lots of reflection, lots of experiences and lots of blessings. Blessings from God, who surely have a plan, and is in control. Jer 29:11 was the verse for the wedding today. I believe in that, it is my favorite verse.

So I know I?m blessed. I know He is in control.

So I smile.

Feeling of coming home

It’s a feeling I’ve felt many times but never tired of feeling. It’s like a food you just never get tired off.

It’s the feeling of coming home. The dialects, the ascents, the care-free attitude. I could blend in right away.

But perhaps, as each time pass by, I can’t help but to notice a slight unfamiliarity. To be sure, it’s minute compared to the familiarity. But it’s there and perhaps growing?

Would I eventually come back? I was sure. But the answer, in a few years time, hasn’t changed since a few years ago.

Heck, I better get out of this contemplative mood and start enjoying.

Even if the wantan mee doesn’t clear my wrinkles.

About going home and getting old

Looking out at the busy movements of the planes, I guess the volcano decided not to cause any problems.

At least not this week, you never know about the next week.

When I was growing up, I had always wanted to get old faster. Not just the I-want-to-be-independent or the I-want-to-drive-my-own-car type, but the I-want-to-achieve-something type. Ever as I know as a fact that working life is not a really fun thing to experience, I belong to the rare, and perhaps weird, group of people who looks forwards to every day or working.

Well, I do. Even as I don’t quite need the extra money, I still search every opportunity to work. Semester after semester, I could always somehow squeeze out some extra hours to work. When a class got canceled, it is not a good time to have a coffee, it’s a good time to punch in a few extra working hours. If there’s a public holiday, it’s not a day to sleep in late, but a day to get other stuff done so I can… you guess it, work more the next day.

A typical definition of workaholic? Maybe. But I’m not the type that like to stay in the office for long hours. Work, for me, does not necessary mean job, but rather everything from studies to relationship. If you can fit in a coffee appointment between the way to my job and my class, I would. Maybe I can be called – a freeprobe. Someone who just cannot stand the idea of being free.

You might think I’m boasting about my productivity and hard-working attitude. Perhaps, like a few people around have started doing, you might start to worry about or even pity me. I remember an incident when my mentor/church leader walking towards me during a church camp. I was sitting under a shade, resting (!). Immediately I stood up and started reporting all the stuff I’ve settled in the past hour. He smiled and said, “You seem to have a very strong guilt-conscience”.

Not that I do much to debunk that idea. Maybe, due to some deep-hidden childhood scare or something else, I can’t allow myself to be helped by other people, or I feel guilty too fast, I can’t be perceived as weak…. Or maybe it’s just pride. Instead, I want to be the be-all and do-all. I help, I don’t get help.

Because of that, although my phone rings quite regularly, it’s mostly because someone needs my help. My ear, my mind, my strength… you name it. It’s hard to remember the times someone calls me… just to chat and talk.

It’s probably my own doing, who really wants to talk to someone who always wants to be better than you. That’s the reason why the holier-than-thou Apple Fanboys are so irritating, but that’s another story. But well, Steph has been lecturing, coaxing, advising but mostly loving and accepting me for a long time now. It’s hard to imagine how much worse I would be without her.

While on the way to the airport today, I saw my reflection on the mirror. A thought struck me suddenly, I look old. Maybe I’ve cheating myself all these while on the fact that since I’m still a student, I must be young. Maybe it’s just my imagination, but did I see some signs of wrinkles?

It’s probably the price for being constantly being busy.
And darn, this post looks so distressing similar to the one I posted just before I went to Prague. I guess it’s my mind trying to convince myself how much I deserve a break. And darn, it’s effective.

Now I can’t wait for that bowl of WanTan Mee.

Of lawyers, doctors, accountants and engineers.

In Asia, or at least Malaysia, these are the so called Big Four(not the accounting firms). Most parents encourage their children to pursue one of them. But as most parents are none of these, sometimes they base their recommendation simply on the profit potential, the more money the better.

Just a week ago, HBR had a special column about keeping young talents in company. Millieneals, the ppl born between 77 and 97, have different expectations and needs in their careers. Fulfillment and meaning have become more important than pure profit.

So I thought about it and wondered about this aspect in the Big Four. And I found myself particularly disliking law, but couldn’t explain it logically.

As always, I mustered my ‘gift’ and soon I have some solid arguments. Law is man-made, and the act of worshiping and enshrining something man made cringes me. But that’s exactly what lawyers are expected to do.

In comparison to engineers, they worship the physical laws as well, but it’s not a man made stuff, it’s been there since the beginning.

The second point is contradiction of interest. It says something bout the occupation if oxymoron is explained with the phrase “honest lawyers”. Perhaps many lawyers wanted to do good in the beginning. But you need problems in order to survive. Due to the man made nature of the job, problems need to be created as well. Controversies need to be found, divorces faught over, debtors to be sued, so on and so forth. In comparison to the other occupations, this phenomenon exist is a much smaller scale. It’s much easier to be fulfilled while earning a profit at the same time.

What do I have against lawyers, you might ask… actually, nothing really. And I certainly do not want to have lawyers as enemies. Just trying to amuse myself in the middle of a boring lecture.