Life & Me

It was a rushed week. Had to go through what I usually take 4 weeks to do. But it was a good week. A good cup of coffee is still good (maybe better) even if it?s compressed into an espresso.

While I was travelling back in a train from KL to Ipoh, I saw the daily lives of different types of people. Mothers taking care of their children, students travelling back to the universities, some sleeping and snoring while the train rocks from side to side. None of these is out of the ordinary, but the combination and the familiarity of it just somehow blends together. Like a good piece of chocolate in a coffee to make it mocha. Just before I reached Ipoh, I looked out towards a newly developed housing area, and a cow was walking in the middle of the street.

I smiled.

That night, I went to a dinner with my dad, with some pretty well-off people. When they came in, I found myself wondering what I should do. Should I stand up? Should I shake their hands or just say ?Uncle?? What was once natural didn?t seem so natural anymore. Throughout the dinner, I was bombarded with questions about Germany, even though I?ve told the exact same people the same thing about 8 months ago. But as usual, I just switched to ?answering questions? mode and I did fine. Then everyone moved on to boast about the different experiences they have and so on, ??. The loudness of it, the commotion of it, the familiarity of it, it?s like the white coffee that I miss.

I smiled.

Before I had the chance to get to know Ipoh again, we rushed to Singapore. We had a nice bungalow to stay in. But even though we had lots of room, the bed of our parents remains our (me and my sis) preferred hang out place. We talked with a volume that rivals the whale-cry, the speed that rivals the Boeings and all the usual scolding and sarcasm. It?s like that bean that I return to after trying out all the different beans in the world. The first bean has a special place in my heart.

I smiled.

The next few days were a rush. We hosted the parents of my (now) sister-in-law (Side note: it?s hard to imagine that I have another sister now, considering that I?ve met her only four days ago. Sweet and nice, my brother is lucky.) I never really thought about much, didn?t have time to.

Until Saturday morning, many things happen almost simultaneously. My brother was getting married. Though never really close, I?m really happy for him. I?ll be leaving my family for another 6 months, at the least. We had a great time, like the espresso I mentioned earlier. We chatted daily till 1 to 2am, and our eyes are the testaments. I?ll be going back and have to adapt straight back into the life I left behind, it?s the middle of my semester. And finally, I?d be seeing my sweetheart again. One week is a long long time, and I have loads to tell her.

In the midst of it all, I could not identified or differentiate my feelings. It?s like if you poke two needles a few centimeters apart on your body parts. On some parts, like the tongue, you can feel both needles. In other parts, like the feet, you can?t. My emotions are like my feet, I can?t differentiate them.

So I chose to park them aside and deal with them later. You can, perhaps through the needles mark, sort them out later. In the dinner just an hour ago, I didn?t say much and did maths by calculating the bill with my head instead. As I couldn?t concentrate, I probably did not do well, and the fact that the 7% Government tax includes the 10% service charge of the total meal didn’t help. I did not say my goodbyes well, because any longer and tears would flow.

But Steph taught me (and Grey?s Anatomy as well) that you don?t have to always feel good. You can feel sad as well. It?s the whole package, like you don?t have to drink black coffee always. The varieties make it good.

And looking back in the week, I had a great great time. Lots of catching up, like asking my friends about their meaning of life (I hope they did not get irritated), lots of food, (and my sis had a great time making fun of my tummy), lots of love, lots of reflection, lots of experiences and lots of blessings. Blessings from God, who surely have a plan, and is in control. Jer 29:11 was the verse for the wedding today. I believe in that, it is my favorite verse.

So I know I?m blessed. I know He is in control.

So I smile.