the busy man (yet again)
I remember when I was about 16 or 17, I told my dad that I don’t really want to be successful in the future.
If you’re thinking “Yaaa, right..” right now, yes, it was right. I was imagining a life without much worries. With suitable income that I’d not fret about my next meal and enough for a trip or two, I’d be satisfied by it.
A few years down the road, it had not changed much. I knew even better the perils of success, as in success in career. The much hype talk about work-life balance simply shows one fact – that it’s elusive. Just like the almighty pill that will cut 5 pounds off your tummy. I want a good life, and I want to have enough time for my future family.
Yet another few years down the road (yes, I’m getting Oldddd…), it still hasn’t changed. I still want a good life, limited stress, freedom and so on… But fact is, I am still busy. Very busy. My daily schedule consists of me running from one place to another, often with neck-breaking walking speed. When i’m finally back home after a 12 hour-day, I knew I had to put in at least another hour or two for my studies.
It’s not just the time, but also the intensity of it. A 12-hour day spent with just one task of entering data into a database, I can imagine it as boring but not tiring nor stressful. But my brain is always required to switch between one task or another.
And to think that I’m not even half way into my real career makes it worse. After each semester, I usually tell myself not to get myself into such situation again the next semester. Semester after semester, I chose the same path. Another job won’t kill, another subject will only enhance my knowledge. Another task accepted at church will strengthen my commitment.
And I wonder, isn’t this exactly what career building is about. I went for two interviews recently. The comments that I received, at both instances were “how could you do so much so well?”. I really should be swelling with pride. Surely I wasn’t unhappy, but it made reflect whether this is really what I want for my life.
When my friends have to wait for an appointment from me, something is wrong. When I’m so tired that I actually feel like putting down the phone while talking to Steph, something is wrong. When the thoughts of hunting down the next success fill my brain, something is wrong.
So what’s my solution then? Well, I won’t do it again next semester.