Life & Me

my dad came to my blog, expecting me to update about my stay in Malaysia. It’s interesting, as we see each other every day now. I guess it’s another form of communication, that I’ll put some of thoughts here which I won’t say it out normally.

I’m half way through my six week stay in Malaysia. To say it has been very interesting would not be the right description, as I stay home most days and as most of my friends are not there. To say it has been boring would be wrong too, as I was in KL for three nice weekends, as I had quality times with my parents, and as I had a lot of free time to just… do nothing.

Coming back to Malaysia always triggers the thought-flowing process which I mentioned in the last post. Sometimes I wonder whether I’ve changed much in the days in Germany. I realized now, that I have not changed, I have simply seen and experienced more. I don’t say this out of ego, one thing I learned in my days overseas, is that the world is so huge. People act and react, think and reflect differently on the same issue, and neither is wrong, nor neccesary right. I learned to not fix on one opinion as the ultimate truth.

I enjoy talking a lot about almost everything with people back in Malaysia. I like to know how they think about issues. As I hold idealistic views on many subjects, sometimes it’s hard for me to accept what and how they think. After a few weeks though, I see myself slowly reconciling my views with theirs, because well, I used to hold those views and well, I’m a Malaysian, am I not? I guess it’s essential to keep an open mind on everything.

It’s interesting to see the changes in my thoughts too, how the environment can affect one’s opinion. Seeing this, I know it’s not my time to come back to Malaysia yet. I have to yet to form a solid view of life, a strong fundamental. I’m still in my formation stages and thoroughly need some molding before I can even hope to cause some changes. If I do come back now, it’d be hard not to flow along with the crowd. With that comes the think along, talk along and do along.

Some of you knows I want to be a teacher in life. I want to teach people how to think and process. Not that I’m an expert in this subject, but I’m learning. And since I believe this is my calling in life, it makes it easier, as I know He’d back me up. One potential field I see in Malaysia is the encouragement of thinking. Now, I do speak this as an insult, but I do think we don’t think enough. There doesn’t seem to enough an awareness to think.

We don’t think how the governemnt can become better, we just say it’s hopeless. We don’t think why racism exist, we just protect ourselves against it. We don’t think Singapore is miles ahead, we just blame it on the lousy government. Clearly, these are changing, as it should. There are people who actively, courageously wanting to make a difference. Maybe it’s the spark that would lead to something.

Clearly too, we think a lot about how to make money. The next house, the next car and the next toy, the next sales, the next promotion and the next pay – that seems to be the focus of many. Now there’s certainly nothing abnormal about it, the whole world does it. I’m just merely stating the facts, and feeling a little……. “I-hope-I-won’t-be-like-this-in-the-future”.

You know, sometimes I talk as if I’m much better than everyone else. As if I can work for world peace, defeat corruption, save the world and be a superman. Probably it’s because I still haven’t too much harsh realities of the world yet that might steal away the idealist view of the world. Somehow, I think, being a Christian, shouldn’t my life purpose be a little different, aligned with His views?